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Today’s forecast for Manhattan: scattered goo, strong winds of questionable decision-making, and a one hundred percent chance that Spider-Man’s week gets worse.

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows is what happens when your friendly neighborhood hero wanders into the moodiest chapter of his career. The quips go quiet, the skies go dark, and Peter Parker learns that an alien goo outbreak is not something you can shake off with a witty one-liner. Even the city looks like it needs a nap, which is saying something for a place that’s been knocked flat in more video games than anyone can count.

Chris is joined by Matt Turner of Pikaslash Plays, who bravely volunteered to talk through every dramatic stare, gloomy monologue, and crossover cameo. It’s two friends, one very gloomy version of New York, and a sincere attempt to figure out when Spider-Man stopped being the funny one.

Pull up a chair, keep the lights on, and whatever you do, don’t adopt anything that moves on its own.

I get it, movie tie ins are hard. You’ve got a development timeline dictated by by an unobservable force. Expectations that are already lower than a kid who gets all of their candy stolen before they get a chance to eat any of it. The only thing you can do sometimes is get your friends and family and hope that they can help you through these tortuous times.

And then a new kid shows up, going on and on about how someone bigger and badder is going to come around and eat your whole planet. And the new kid is cooler than you because he has a surfboard. And he’s shiney and possibly made of metal? Yeah things are getting weird.

Helping me wrangle all of this insanity is Gary Jones from Divergent Comics. Which is a good thing too because I definitely needed a second opinion about some things here and Gary brought a nice calm perspective to counteract my annoyance that until very recently we just couldn’t get a good Fantastic Four movie no matter how hard we tried. And I really needed him to help keep my thoughts about the movie from staining my thoughts on the game.

Get those forks ready, pitch or otherwise, because I know this one is going to leave a few people hungry for more.

Bruce Banner has the worst anger management plan in recorded history. Step one: don’t get angry. There is no step two, because the world is full of slow Wi-Fi, hold music, and a military that answers “please stop chasing me” by chasing him harder. It always ends the same way: one enormous green man, one miraculously intact pair of purple pants, and a repair bill the city will still be paying off in 2060.

This episode is about The Incredible Hulk, the video game spun out of the 2008 film. It’s a story about a man who just wants a quiet life, a decent cup of coffee, and a cure, and who keeps getting interrupted by helicopters. His entire personality is a mood swing with a gym membership, and he is somehow still the most reasonable person in any room that contains Ross.

Returning to the show to take the green wheel is Russell Moran of Kaiju ComiCast. Russell spends his days with some of the biggest monsters ever to flatten a skyline, which makes him the one guest who won’t flinch when a city block gets treated like a chew toy. That gives us the big question: is the Hulk a superhero, or a kaiju with a great publicist and a gamma-radiation origin story? Russell is here to rule on it.

Keep a spare pair of stretchy pants handy, don’t make us angry in the comments, and let’s find out whether this one leaves you roaring or just leaves a very large hole in the wall.